What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Randomize
