So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
