I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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