college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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