We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize