im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
