You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize