I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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