oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
