My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
