We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
