so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
