david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I woke up under a house in Key West
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
