i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
