That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
