Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
