I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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