ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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