This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize