Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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