I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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