And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
