it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
