the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
