i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
