If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You're breaking my sexual little heart
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
