Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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