I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
