You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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