I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I stole a fireplace last night.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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