I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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