once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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