I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
