i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
