we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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