dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize