So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
