Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
