How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
