My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
