so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
