There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize