i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
