I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
well you can't waste a boner
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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