I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
