oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
