Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Did I show you my penis last night?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i believe in u and ur pee
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
