Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
