So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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