Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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