Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
