doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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