You made me cry and you don't even care
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize