I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
