sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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