TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
