I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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