so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
