that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
