return my video game
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
