Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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