Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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