Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
