Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
