my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
