oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
