So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
