great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
