Already got asked if we're dating
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
