All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
