I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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