i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
