Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
