you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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