she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
