Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
